it’s all about your cries and kisses, those first steps i cannot calculate

Feast Forty-Five

Appetizer
Which keys do you have on your key chain?
My apt., storage units, car, b’s apt., my post office box, padlock keys.

Soup
What is the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?
Canceling my Kripalu Yoga Retreat when Robert faxed me and asked me to go on the longest first date of my life…9 days with him on tour to Houston, L.A., and Alaska. (Remember when faxing was cool??)

Salad
Who is the best cook in your family?
Allyson.

Main Course
If you were to write a "how-to" book, what would the title be?
How To Pretend That Everything’s Okay: 10 Easy Ways to Deplete Your Energy By Overbooking Your Schedule While Smiling and Complimenting People All The Time

Dessert
Name a recent fad you’ve tried.
Saying "no."

the pill has been swallowed but i am still hollow

“If you don’t have a parent or an adult, a teacher or a mentor … really see you, really love you, ‘Yes, there are things you do I don’t like, but you’re fantastic, you’re good enough. I love you.’ If that never happens to a child, the child assumes it’s her fault and tries to compensate for it.” — Jane Fonda.

“A pedestal is as much a prison as any small, confined space.” — Gloria Steinem

And you, maybe you’ll remember me, what i gave you is yours to keep

I am a little ashamed to admit that I really listened to Vanessa Carlton‘s song "White Houses" when it shuffled in yesterday on the drive home and I must say: that is a great song!!!!

It totally brings you back to the time when you were first striking out on your own and maybe you have a bad boyfriend and this group of friends that you felt like you’d know forever….

I’m not saying she’s a musical genius, but it’s an effective song and Mr. Jenkins has to have some reason for dating her, right? I thought that two songs on her first CD showed real promise, but after enjoying a few of her new tracks from the new CD, "Harmonium," I was open to listening to what she was trying to say, and was completely touched by the sentiment…in white houses.

it’s okay for you to care because i’m not going anywhere

I got my own tab on Shawn’s site…. That’s certainly fun! It’s so weird because he’s been sending me mix CDs and we have very similar musical tastes…I’ve yet to stump him on any artist…and he’s already introduced me to some new faves. Thanks, Shawn!

I found this picture of me and Lisa Cater, back when she used to cut my hair. (She introduced me to the pay for one hair cut, get a clean-up in between method that I’ve been using ever since.) I remember this day/night so clearly, but had completely forgotten about it until I saw this pic today. Three years ago…hmmmm…..funny, how memory works.

Getting together with MS tonight and that is always cause for celebration, in and of itself. Being with her is like food for my soul…actually, it’s not like food for my soul, it is food for my soul.

I’m obsessed with reading Jane Fonda’s biography these days. I was going to title this entry "I am Jane Fonda" but she writes too much about her vagina for that to be completely true…yet, I’m completely and utterly devoted to this book. It just reminds me, no matter your age, sex, race, or status, we are all the same inside at some level. She is so real in this book. Sister is really breaking it down for the masses, and I appreciate that about her. Critics have attacked the lack of stuff about her movies, but for me, I love that because it shows that making films probably, as she writes, was NOT the defining thing in her life. It’s just most of what we, the public, saw and have curiosity about, but, personally, I’m much more interested in the psychology behind her choices — and on those counts the book never disappoints.

Meanwhile, I’m a little sleepy today because I stayed up until 2 a.m. cleaning house last night and it’s such a nice feeling — both doing it and the aftermath of orderliness…burning through old tivo’d shows with a swiffer in your hand while wearing a terry hotel bath robe is just my idea of decadence.

In Kalamazoo I watched you turn off

I’m getting excited about my show at Nay Nay’s House in New Orleans. Everyone does House Concerts in the Northeast and now, I’m bring the tradition to the South! Though I’ve only been to one real house concert, I loved the way it felt, the intimacy of it, it’s so much better IMHO. Also, the way I look at it, if 15 people come and actually listen and buy a CD or a shirt (or both) and meet you and become a fan, then you’re doing much much better than if you’d play in a smoky bar somewhere. Scary, but true.

I wrote a new song this week. I’m the lyrics here mostly for my benefit, so I don’t forget and have easy access wherever I am…I guess I could update my Web site, but that lyric project seems like such a bear, I don’t know if I can deal with that now.

So I found out a friend might have cancer. When I got the news, I was just starting on a song about feeling like you had a second chance, and how second chances always feel like the last chance. My ex TS was recently saying that he never expected to fall in love again, that he thought it was over for him (He’s in his 40s so he thinks he’s old, ha!) Ridiculous!

But, I really felt how he could feel that way, and then when it comes by again, as it did for him, you really want to risk it all and go for it and really not play around. So then the song sort of became about my cancer friend and TS, and of course, myself, because I think I’ll always want my songs to be grounded by cell phone calls and aggravation and tv shows. Anyway, it might be my favorite thing I’ve written in a long while. Reminds me of how I felt when I wrote "Swallowed Whole" and I couldn’t wait to get home from work to play it.

The Prize

Today’s a good day to begin
The thing that comes after the thing that ended
but there’s nothing on T.V. tonight
so I go to bed at 9

tomorrow is one more shot at the prize

the sunlight makes me want to squint
and your face is so beautiful when it’s bathed in it
but i’ve got so much on my mind right now
and i want to let you in, but i don’t know how

because it feels right when you stay the night
but i don’t
want to waste all this time
talking on the phone

when we have one more shot at the prize
i’ve got one more shot at the prize
they said it was over, but they lied
so i’m taking my last shot at the prize

(instrumental)

it’s hard not to expect the worst
but it’s the untaken risk that really hurts
i see my chance coming round the bend
and i won’t fuck it up again

so I try to resist all the things that I miss
as the fear rushes in
and I’m resolved to take it all
on the chin

for my one last shot at the prize
they said that it was over, but they lied
and I’m so glad that I’m still alive
to take my one last shot at the prize….

ad lib

today’s a good day to begin

© 2005, lucas j. miré, mirécle music, BMI

these are not my people, i should never have come here

Still on my Martha kick, so RL sent this delish story from his paper today.

Also, you if you live in the UK, you can order the CD via Tower Records UK….

It’s a beautiful day today and I’m so looking forward to a laid back weekend…

Check out this excellent Casey Stratton fan site…it’s quite good.

except for a few small bruises, cuts and scars, I’m fine

Feast Forty-Three

Appetizer
What was your first "real" job?
I was Creative Director for a multi-media company (newspapers, billboards, and radio) … I worked for that company from age 17 til 24. Crazy.

Soup
Where would you go if you wanted to spark your creativity?
For a walk.

Salad
Complete this sentence: I am embarrassed when…
I take my tae bo boot camp kick box class and people peer in to see what we’re doing. Not-so-surprising confession: I don’t know how to punch.

Main Course
What values did your parents instill in you?
Dad: It’s important to know how to get a boat on a pull-trailer by yourself. Mom: No one will take care of you if you don’t take care of yourself.

Dessert
Name 3 fads from your teenage years.
Euro-Synth bands. Z Cavarichi Jeans. Trivial Pursuit.

if these old walls could speak, they would tell you that I owe you more than i could ever pay

When you fall in love for the first time, it’s like being a baby all over again.

It’s as if you have this two year window to cram in as much knowledge about this new world you’ve discovered before the synapses start to dwindle… Everything makes a stronger impression. Every like or dislike has the potential to create a motif that you’ll carry with you into your other relationships. At least that’s what happened in my own life. Most of the things I love, I love because Chad introduced me to them — including vegetables and ice tea!

Luckily, and very happily, I fell in love with a incomparable guy who handwashed his walls pink, used Kiss My Face shaving cream, loved David Wilcox, played the guitar, was slightly neurotic, had great friends, went camping and hiking, juiced his own juice, made his own soup, ate with chopsticks, grew his own herbs and got oranges for Easter instead of chocolate.

He also had a distinct eye for design and style — besides impressing on me a love of all things natural and wholesome and pure, he also knew how to throw together a room.

And according to CIN Weekly, he still does!

Even when he comes to visit me now, he has a way of making the bed that has a certain special touch I can’t seem to recreate. He’s magic.

why’d you have to be so cute?

Ok, trayb and frankgreen inspired me to take the easy way out today. A list:

1. "Say Goodnight and Go" by Imogen Heap. Sounds just like her work with Frou-Frou, so why a solo album? I’m confused about that, but the song is sonic bliss and has marcos moldes written all over it.

2. I got props today at work for predicting that Nadia Turner would get booted.

3. Martha Wainwright on Letterman this week. She didn’t sing any of my favorites, but she did a great job, nonetheless.

4. Marianne Williamson on Larry King Live last night. What does happen to us when we die? More importantly, will we care?

5. A friend in WeHo is going help me do t-shirts. I’m super excited about this project. I didn’t want to do shirts unless I could get really excited about them and this one has me majorly thrilled. I think it’s going to be great! The shirts themselves are coming from American Apparel, and the very talented M. Smalley will be designing them. Hopefully, we’ll unveil them hopefully sooner than later!

6. I’m still reeling from meeting and witnessing and absorbing the work via Byron Katie.

7. My friend Ashley has one of my favorite blogs. She loves clothes and is a great writer, and I just really dig the vibe of her site. (I help take some of the pix when I’m around My nephew Franklin is looking so cute these days!

8. It’s odd that one of my new favorite places to visit online isn’t a blog…it’s my new pal Shawn‘s internet home. Check out the Breaking News page…it’s one of my faves.

9. Finalizing my New Orleans trip for the week after my birthday in May. I’m very excited to be going home for the first time in over six months! I can’t wait to see Marla, Nay, Amy, T&M’s new house, Amy&Colin&Zoe, Sarah, Tom…etc. I’m flying down and Arman is going to let me use his guitar for the show. Sweet!

while i was building my tower of denial, you were busy blasting the walls

This will be going up on the main site too, but if you need to buy the CD, you can now get copies from Tower Records Online… Check it out

if i’m your habit, you’re my curse

Headed out to see Eric Himan‘s show at Smith’s last night. He’s a very nice fella, and smaller in stature than I would have thought from the way he’s photographed. Michelle S. was having margs at Sundown Café and came to meet me for the show. She’s sweet like that, ain’t she?

Eric’s set was tight and captivating; You can tell he’s been doing this for a while, that’s for sure. His voice is totally controlled and strong…it’s fierce…great lyrics. One of which hung around my head like smoke.

"This can all be fixed with a lie." 

He was also very down to earth. We chatted about both of our CDs starting with a song that has a slash in the title. (His "Habit/Curse," mine "Push/Pull.")

So if you live in a city on his tour, be sure to check him out! He’s also doing a few dates this month with Casey Stratton.

Meanwhile, my fabulous new ‘superfan’ <wink> Shawn set up a Lucas Miré Yahoo Group for people who want to join. Go here and be a joiner. There’ll be some rare sonic goodies and other fun stuff to come!

One of the things I wanted to do this year was take a few guitar lessons, since I’ve never had any teacher other than Guitar For Dummies. The perfect teacher showed up a few weeks ago and I’m going for my first lesson tonigh from Gerlinda of weaklazyliar. G is one of my favorite singer/songwriters and it’s a treat to learn some tricks from someone whose music I enjoy so much.

This can all be fixed with a lie.

What’s in a name? It certainly is interesting to think about where names come from…Do they define us? Do we grow into our names? Could Britney Spears be a rocket scientist or, with a name like that, was she always destined to be a pop tartlet?

Along the same lines, I know I’m not the only one who names his electronic gadgets and whatnots, right? Choosing a name is mostly instinctive. Since I’m allergic to most pet dander and may or may not have children at some point and I have decided I’ll probably never really write a novel, I have all these names I like that could never really be used in my life.

So I name the electronics.

It started when I named my PowerBook Django….

then I had to name the iMac…Eli, that’s what I call him.

My 60G iPod was christened Ezra, a name I’ve always loved since reading Ezra Pound as a child.

And then when TiVo came along, he looked like a Tijo.

When I got my iPod shuffle a while back, I was still thinking about Dakota Fanning’s character in the hyperviolent "Man on Fire." Her name is Pita. And that’s what I call the shuffle.

What do you call your "babies"?

it’s been a long long long time since I’ve felt sunlight on my face

Feast Forty-Two

Appetizer – What is a symbol that inspires you?

I like the yin / yang symbol quite a bite, and also the "=" sign.

Soup – Name something (either serious or funny) that has happened in your life that you would consider a miracle.
So many things! The first thing that came to mind is some of the experiences I’ve drawn to me that have been very enlightening regarding my desire for fame, my disempowered child’s version of acceptance. I think it’s a miracle that universe can arrange itself in such a way that I get what I need at all times, and had some blinders removed about how famous people’s lives might be different (aka better) than mine is now. It’s simply not true. Trust.

Salad – How do you handle criticism?

Depending on the source, I usually try to honor the person’s right to their own opinion, and then use it for my growth. After all, the person is simply seeing their "story" about me, anyway. Still, I try to see if I can find where that person is right. Someone once told me my songs were too long…and once I looked I could totally find where that was true. Did it make me shorten the song? Not necessarily, but I could see where the person was right and it diffused the criticism.

Main Course – Complete this sentence: I feel alone when…
I start drifting out of touch with myself.

Dessert – Name one TV show you wouldn’t want to be caught dead watching.

Hmmmm…..this would be more interesting to me if it were a movie question, but I’ll soldier on….Hmmmm….I can’t think of any. I mean, I cop to watching and loving "Strange Love" so there’s not much worse on T.V. than that!

can somebody tell me now: who is this terrorist?

I was sitting at my desk on Monday afternoon when my phone rang. It was my pal JH who works for a record label. "Do you happen to need some Tori tickets tonight?"

"Hell yeah!"

So I ended up getting tickets despite the show being sold out.  The seats were awesome and the show started out fantastic as Tori tore through an amazing song list….THEN….some fan started screaming in adoration, and our Tori stopped her show to call them out. She was hilarious: "OK, the f-ing Motley Crue show is across the road!"  The person still screamed. The show was all downhill from there….I felt glad I didn’t pay for a ticket. So, once again, no Cornflake Girl, no God, no Silent, no Spark, no Bliss, no Crucify, no Horses, no Putting the Damage on…in her defense we did get my favorite Jamaica Inn, and Past The Mission, and Blood Roses, and Sleeps With Butterflies (which got me  a little watery-eyed thinking of JC), and Tear in Your Hand, and Orange Knickers, and Josephine. I guess overall I’m much happier with the set list than any of the Scarlet shows….or, gawd, how many before that?

How sweet is this? Check out the bottom of the Raves section.

Byron Katie‘s new book is wonderful and I’m so looking forward to meeting her next Monday….AMAZING. I saw a video of her today and it was eerie because she has the exact same mouth as my friend Sarah Ney. So cute and firm lipped. I loved it!

Wrote a new song this week…more domestic issues…maybe that’s my forte?

FLAT EARTH THEORY (2 a.m.)

The bar closes down at 2 a.m.
You come home and smell like smoke and gin
I have to work at 6
You say you weren’t thinking

And how long can you insist
that
the world is flat?

We have sex but we don’t kiss
There is love but we don’t make it
And I guess that’s just the way it is
My real life made by faking it

And how long can I insist
that
the world is flat?

I keep thinking you will change
as things tend to do
but that just seems insane
when i’ve got years of proof…

years of proof.

Your mother’s in town so we have to
do all the things we’re supposed to do
The neighbor plays his music loud
You don’t know what I’m talking about

And how long can we insist
that
the world is flat?

And most of all it’s just sad
that
what we had is gone.

the leaves are red and orange, the sky’s a hollow blue and the grass is always greener

Sorry I’ve been too slammed to write about the CD Release show….but I need to send all of you a huge thanks for making it an unequivocal success….It was a lot of fun, I was very nervous, and the place was packed. Amy and Rene came in from New Orleans,  and it was so nice to have them there….they’ve been with me the whole entire way. My special friends J&JTyson also made the trek in from N.C. How sweet are they? If you only knew, people!!!!

I played:

Greener
Push Pull
Swallowed Whole
Fill in the Blanks
24 Hours
Luka (S.Vega)
Sunday
City Lights
My Mother’s Only Daughter
Love the Rain (New Song)
Francis

After the show, the main group scooted over to Birdie’s On The Square and had drinks (remembering when MM and I cozied up in the front window seat after Teitur).  I was happy and felt really good.

It’s like climbing to the top of Kilimanjaro, getting married, or doing anything that requires real effort and determination…it never really feels like you imagined it might…so you ride the waves of life and appreciate the crests.

Listening to the tapes of the show did show my that I do not want to curse when performing, and that writing songs with the f-bomb in them isn’t as cool as Lori Carson makes it seem. Me no likie the way it fits on me.

sometimes i don’t know who’s to say what really real?

If you had your radio tuned to 91.7fm KOOP if you were in the Austin city limits around
4:30pm Saturday, here’s the songs you’d have heard:

KIKI & HERB/"Note To Self: Don’t Die/Flamingo/When Doves Cry"/Kiki & Herb
<!–
D(["mb","Will Die for You in Carnegie Hall
KIMI HAYES BAND/"Safe At Home"/Red 14
JONATHAN NEWELL/"Over You"/Seven Mirrors
ANTONY AND THE JOHNSONS/"Man Is The Baby"/I am a Bird Now

(Birthday salutes for April 7..)
BOYS\' ENTRANCE/"Harry Hay"/The Queer Punk Folder
(and April 5..)
KIM CARNES/"Bette Davis Eyes"/The Mistaken Identity Collection

SACHA SACKET/"The Prodigal/Stuck In The Sunset/Paris And September"/Shadowed

GREEN & ROOT/"Lavender"/Down That Road
CHERYL WHEELER/"It\'s The Phone/On The Plane"/Defying Gravity
AMY ROBERTS/"Queer"/No Miracles Today
MARY GAUTHIER/"Mercy Now"/Mercy Now
LUCAS MIRE/"Radio"/Forever\'s Not As Long As It Used To Be
KARA BARNARD/"Arkansas Traveler"/Brown County Waltz
(for Cowboy Woody)

NEXT WEEK: More New Stuff from Mark Weigle and Jamie Anderson and Arthur
Loves Plastic and..

Love, Taylor
Taylor Cage, host and producer
"QueerWaves"
Saturdays, 430pm to 6pm Central Time
91.7fm KOOP Austin TX
Visit http://www.koop.org
for links to live webstream,
schedule, and links to playlist and more
Studio Line: 512-472-5667(KOOP)

Taylor Cage
2819 Foster Lane, F122
Austin TX 78757
512-459-3076

________________________________________________________________________
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Message: 4
  Date: Sun, 3 Apr 2005 11:31:11 EDT
  From: tsunamiinc@aol.com
Subject: Praise for new Jamie Anderson CD

My new CD "A Promise of Light" is a featured CD this month at
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//–>Will Die for You in Carnegie Hall
KIMI HAYES BAND/"Safe At Home"/Red 14
JONATHAN NEWELL/"Over You"/Seven Mirrors
ANTONY AND THE JOHNSONS/"Man Is The Baby"/I am a Bird Now

SACHA SACKET/"The Prodigal/Stuck In The Sunset/Paris And September"/Shadowed

GREEN & ROOT/"Lavender"/Down That Road
CHERYL WHEELER/"It’s The Phone/On The Plane"/Defying Gravity
AMY ROBERTS/"Queer"/No Miracles Today
MARY GAUTHIER/"Mercy Now"/Mercy Now
LUCAS MIRE/"Radio"/Forever’s Not As Long As It Used To Be
KARA BARNARD/"Arkansas Traveler"/Brown County Waltz

i will not smile, i will not put on a show, i will not say i’m alright for you

An advance of Martha Wainright‘s full length CD arrived in the mail last week and I can’t stop listening to it. The brilliance of  "B.M.F.A." just cuts me to the core….the feeling of condescension from someone you just want to love you.  This song happens to be about her father, but I can plug any number of folks from my own life into that charming little ditty and have myself quite a fine emotional response. If only Rufus could be that straightforward and real.

I’m reading a great book that I first saw at Wheelie’s house…."Zen and the Art of Falling in Love." Gawd, I hate that title but the book is suprisingly not airy fairy. I always love a good book about self-awareness and, ultimately, that’s what this little gem is.  I notice lots of similarities between Byron Katie’s "work" and Zen: ‘doing the dishes,’ welcome when they come but do not chase if they go, etc. It’s all about holding onto yourself during life’s storms and not looking for someone else to make you feel something. During all the Pope craziness lately, I read something he said that I really liked: "You will never find happiness out in the world" — I’m paraphrasing, but it was something like that.  Despite his awful stance towards gays and lesbians, and his public remarks about gay/lesbian families,  I can dig that statement, and it would fit right in with "Zen and the Art of Falling in Love." Because as cliche as it sounds, and we all know it, but it’s all about learning to fall in love with yourself.

Which, oh my god! ties into the song right after B.M.F.A. on Martha’s new disc…she says, " I’m not such a good lover, but I’m a good talker, and when you touch me like that I get scared that you’ll see not the way that I don’t love you, but the way that I don’t love myself."

God, haven’t we all be on that couch at 1  a.m.?