and if i drop them into the snow, will we never find them anymore?

It snowed in Atlanta last night, and my pal Omar caught it on tape!

i want to see the bright lights shine

Tonight could be your lucky night!

When I used to be a full-time writer/editor for the news section of weather.com, I became very interested in the Northern Lights. I never thought I’d be a space weather geek, but talking to all of the top scientists in this field made me very excited to think about seeing this phenomenon one day.

If I lived a little bit north , I might be in luck tonight according to this little article. If any of you are out there and see them and can take a picture and send it in to us at weather.com, that would be awesome! (There’s a link to do so in the article.)

shouldn’t it be that easy to just be happy for a while?

Two things today that summarize my mood and feeling: Ennui…. no it’s not a new fragrance, it’s a new poem by Sylvia Plath.

Second, this song by Tristan Prettyman, who’s album is so good I just may break all the rules and put her in my "best of" reviews two years in a row!

Smoke

If I could I would be smoke
And I’d float myself out of here
And I’d go wherever you are
And I’d never have to be too far from here
And I’d linger in your fingers
A transparent shade of gray
And watch as you watch me
Slowly fade away
Into the night
Where are you when I need you by my side

Shouldn’t it be that easy
To just be happy for awhile
Get lost in a moment
Wasting time, trading smiles
Shouldn’t it be that easy
To just be happy for awhile
Come on, won’t you waste my time
Baby waste my time
Won’t you waste all my time

Things are never what they seem
Lately you’re all I dream
Well I’m running but I’m not getting anywhere and
Do you even care?

Shouldn’t it be that easy
To just be happy for awhile
Get lost in a moment
Wasting time trading smiles

Shouldn’t it be that easy
To just be happy for awhile
Come on won’t you waste my time
baby waste my time
Won’t you waste all my time
C’mon and waste all my time

I’m just trying to find my way
Between the glitter and the gray
Baby I just want some time with you
And ohh I swear this time I’ll make it through well well

Shouldn’t it be that easy
To just be happy for awhile
Get lost in a moment
Wasting time trading smiles

Shouldn’t it be that easy
To just be happy for awhile
Come on won’t you waste my time
baby waste my time
Won’t you waste all my time
C’mon and waste all my time

this time i think it’s about forgiveness

Having a grand time at the beach….It’s been terrific to hang out with my buddy Brad, who moved from the A-T-L to Chitown back in March. His parents are great peeps…cook us food every night, play games with us and are just so nice to be around. On an everyday basis, these people do more for me and show more of an interest in my life than my own family. That’s certainly puzzling, but also proves that family is what you make it. Tonight, our second to last night, Brad’s mom is whipping us up a big batch of “Oprah’s Lemon Drop Martinis.” We’re having cocktail hour at 4 p.m. and then dinner at 5:30.

We had to leave the beach early today because a mammoth bank of dark storm clouds blew in…We were barely in the door of the beach house before the skies opening. My cute meteorologist boyfriend called me earlier than usual today, warning me to get my beach time in early because the storms were coming. How sweet is that? I’m so sad he couldn’t join me at the beach this year.

I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night with random thoughts. Maybe it’s some thinking hangover from hours spent just sitting in a low beach chair and actually having uninterruped moments to ruminate over my life. I love just rolling thoughts around and I don’t take time to do that in my normal life. I guess that’s one of the reasons why I love the beach.

I don’t tend to write about my non-musical life here too much, but I guess it’s worth mentioning that back in Jan. I got a promotion of sorts at my full-time career. It’s been loads of work, but overall, I’m very happy to have made the jump, though it accounts for one of reasons I’ve been blogging less. Today’s middle of the night, early morning thought: This is the first time since my first job at 16 that I don’t have “writer” in my job title. This is the thought that sort of jarred me. All my life, I’ve wanted to write, got called into the principal’s office in Grade 5 for writing a poem, and have basically made my career writing stories regularly in some capacity or another. (I’m not counting songwriting here, obviously — I do that for fun!)

With my new job, hard core writing or enterprising stories is not one of my daily tasks. I suppose it’s one of those enevitable things, growing up, advancing, and lord knows the last couple of years I was very burnt out on pop culture writing and felt like I had nothing else to offer. But now that I’m older, my identity is less tied up in what I do, than who I am.

I don’t really worry about losing my “voice” but am more interested at how we grow and change as people, not needing things we thought we’d need, not being the things we thought and fought to be. This is sort of where my songs are lately; I trust them to come when they need to come, to go where they need to go and to have the resilency to stand up to my changing moods.

don’t say your goodbyes, say after me, i’ll go my own way, baby yeah

Here’s an article about one of my favorite singers, Bic Runga. When I met Arman back in 1998, he would come over and play guitar and I would sing, etc. — "Lost" from  Sarah McLachlan’s melancholy underrated masterpiece "Solace" was our standard. Anyways, I’d always ask him to play Bic Runga’s song "Drive," which he also knew and loved. I always wanted to learn it to do a cover of it. You should get her new CD "Birds," it’s awesome.

There’s a little book I’m reading and enjoying a lot: "How To Be An Adult." The author, David Richo,  also has a book called "How To Be An Adult In Relationships," that I bought in Newburyport, Mass., a few years ago on vacation. (Newburyport may be the pretties town I ever did see!)

So, the takeaway from recent reading: "Adults cannot be abandoned, they can only be left. Adults cannot be engulfed, they can only be crowded."

Ahhhh, just reading that makes me relax a little. I’ve been scared of abandonment or engulfment at various points in all of my relationships, sometimes to the point of debilitation, but ultimately I think that the fear of engulfment (my top fear in relationship) is actually a twisted mirror image of the fear of abandonment, which seems to be the root of a lot of problems, even if it doesn’t appear to be at first blush.

Finally, in defense of selfishness, a quote:

You can be helping many people, but if you are not helping yourself, you have missed the one person you were born to heal. – Alan Cohen

oily marks appear on walls where pleasure moments hung before

I guess this is what it takes to stun me out of blog hibernation.

me with my small life, my easy mess

I’ve found this to be true. You? Though I must admit, I’m more frustrated by poor, slow service than ever before.

spent so much time underground I guess my eyes adjusted

You know what this means?  Latino Crazy Virus is spreading from Toronto to Atlanta — again! Just kidding… It’s hard to believe that it’s been two years last month since I’ve seen Canadian blogger MM. I’m so glad he’s a brainiac so he can travel back to Atlanta for free. Way to go, Markiemarc.

i’m so far, so far away from it now

I’m one of those guys who doesn’t have a lot of guy friends.

Gay men, in general and in the past, are just not folks that I gravitate towards. But, lo and behold, somehow, someway, I became friends with two men since I moved to Atlanta who are now — both in the same month!!! — moving to other cities. Far away, as in I-have-to-take-a-plane-ride-and- a-vacation-day-to-see-them far away. One is moving for love, the other for job, and I’m totally happy for both of them.

At the same time, I’m the one who is used to leaving people and places. I’m the one normally charging off for greener pastures, new adventures, and untold opportunity. I guess it’s just my turn to be a supporter, to deal with the feelings that come from being left behind, to be the one who stays. Atlanta’s never been my favorite city, and I worry that without these two best friends o’ mine, it will be socially unbearable.

Still, I want to feel the loss while I also try to stay optimistic and look on the sunny side of the street: I’ll have free places to stay in two great cities and it will make our time together that much more fun.

Maybe I’ll take notes from BN and his two best friends who live long plane trips apart; They make it look easy.

they like to talk about forever but most people never get the chance

Just back from my little jaunt to NYC (more on that later, I’m sure!) and wanted to share a few links.

Knowing I dig a good addiction memoir, Lara gave "A Million Little Pieces" two years ago and, unlike the rest of America, I *could* put it down. And maybe now I know why I didn’t waste my time. Is it shallow that I liked the book just because of the cover design?

Robbie UK is notorious for keeping my e-mail in-box stuffed with Bic Runga tracks and links to things he knows I would love, like this. Ten years later, he still knows me!

A little 2005 list fatigue set in, so I haven’t finished posting my top 10 experiences of last year. The top 5 are left, but 2005 seems so OVER. Still, I saved the best for last and I’ll probably give myself the rest of the month to dribble out the remaining posts. Thanks for your emails and your patience!

Just discovered Swedish singer/guitarist José Gonzalez’ brilliant, melancholy cover of Kylie’s "Hand on Your Heart." (I’ve always loved this slice of cheesy, vintage KM.) It’s so weird the way music can hit you the wrong way and then later, in a different mood, it blows you away. Late summer brought José’s EP "Crosses," and, despite the buzz, I was not that impressed. But his full length, "Veneer," caught my ear and heart on first listen. (It contains three of the four songs on "Crosses.") Check out his site and listen to "Heartbeats."

T.V. seems hot again and our favorite mistress of the remote is back in blog-business. Bookmark it!

and inevitably, what we used to be will succumb to the pull of gravity and you will never, no, you will never see with virgin eyes again

gayshawn was in the paper today!!  He is officially a gossip maven. If you don’t have anything nice to say…sit by him! It’s worth reading the article just to find out how he came to be known as ‘gay’ shawn. Good stuff.

He also shot me an IM to let me know that my CD is listed on amazon.com. I don’t know how that came to be…but I guess I’d better send them a bunch of CDs so they can sell some for me.

maybe i was first, maybe you were first, it doesn’t really matter

“An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind.”

I just googled this favorite quote of mine and found several sources that attribute this to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Who knew?

can i sit with you, talk for a while?

I’m very happy to report that for the first time in three months, I have not exceeded my cell phone minutes! My cycle re-starts on the 10th of each month, but for the last few months, by the first of the month, I was already in the red. Not good, people, not good, we’re talking hundreds of extra dollars not good!!

Last month as I was packing my bags to head to the poor house, I decided to face reality and add an 500 extra minutes to my plan. (It was only $5.00 more! I kept thinking, next month I won’t use that many.)

So, guess what? When I checked in today, I was at 989 minutes used. Normally, this would be the point I would freak, but today, I knew I still had 511 minutes left to squander. How do you spell freedom?

#M-O-R-E * M-I-N-U-T-E-S#